Dissolving the World into Love

The world moves, everything changing constantly… familiarity blinds people.  So few notice that each object in the field around them is reforming moment to moment, it disintegrates and re-emerges in space.  Humans ‘know’ too much, it’s not really knowing in a wisdom sense, it’s data-compiling, an assumption that because something is perceived by name and can be identified that it will be enough to close the book on it and recall it from memory when needed.
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The Unknown Future
It can be difficult to face things that were on our invisible bucket-list that sits in our subconscious.  We make assumptions about the future and stumble towards it oblivious to what is going on.  Suddenly another new possibility and direction appears from nowhere and our world wobbles like it’s been hit by a meteor.  What we expected to happen ‘invisible-izes’ itself and dissolves into the ethers.  If we are crazy, crazy, we chase that unborn experience, reach to grab it and although we see its misty form, it’s not really there, we are just dancing with ghosts, phantoms of the past and non-real futures. Wise men let them lie and create new potentials, briefly looking over their shoulder as the universe recedes in the rear-vision mirror of life.
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Micro Bliss
I spend my days seeking the perfect coffee, it’s a minor side show but as a serious thinker I do need simple things, delicacies, stuff that generates joy, these things that give us micro-bliss are like life-buoys in space, the journey through the corridors of the world can get a little tough and having things to snap us out of seriousness is critical. Seek joy, seek peace; I know that wisdom is not enough to wander planet Earth. Dinotopia speak says “Breath Deep Seek Peace”, their civilisation did not know of chocolate and coffee.
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Mad World
The noise, the bustle, the bling, the ads, the show, fast cars, credit cards, a super-imposed reality, over consumption, upgrading objects and throwing away what was quite okay… it did its job, the losing of sovereignty by distraction, the Rishis watch on in wonder at the play of mice and men … wine is wondrous, just a mouthful, not a bucket to drown in and hide ones feelings.
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In this chaos and busyness, people throw away people, sadly we’ve all done it … I’ve learned too well that it is what I have done to others that hurts me more than what they have done to me, as time passes this truth in some way haunts me, it always has; in the moment other peoples antics hurt but as we move along the arrow of time, it’s our STUFF that bites us on the bum.  Even the small moments of unkindness are things that I struggle with, I have all the techniques, the tools required to resolve many of the problems of the Universe but I know in truth in the end I must just sit and feel into the disappointments as they rise in my consciousness, wait until they pass, to find a way to be comfortable in my uncomfortableness, to float through the tsunami of experience in the lifeboat of understanding and accept change.  Humans throw away people as if they are disposable cups, had enough of that one, get me a new model.  I know there is a need to stop and breath, to seek kindness, to aim at healing, to resolve, to acquire peace, without resolve it is difficult to CREATE the future, emotions block the flow of energy through the pathways of the brain.
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The Field of Life
The field of life brings many experiences, often those we don’t want… quick I am outta here. We are selective, we choose the happy and run from the sad.  And yes that seems fair ‘n’ normal.  I am reminded that the great Sage the Buddha reminded us that “the First Truth is that all life is suffering, pain, and misery,” I will go out on and edge and say that is not what HE said. That is an enslavement program implemented by those who came later.  It is twisted, a great Sage would not say that and I am not in any way being disrespectful to my great hero Gautama Buddha. A Sage would see the beauty of the creation, the bliss of unfolding life in the field of space; he would understand ‘entanglement’ but NEVER say that life is suffering.
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NEW DAWN
The new day breaks, I rise to the challenge of it, the beauty and mystery of it is what I seek.  To heal my heart, to share love, to grow, to resolve what troubles me, to BE the man I have dreamed of being, to be kind enough to myself to know when I am wrong, when decisions are or were poor and to accept them. I seek tenderness in the world around me, to be an ally when needed and to accept change, to allow others to BE who they are regardless of my opinions which are often bold.  To be vulnerable and stand on the edge looking into space and say “I accept what is emerging” and to adapt my dream accordingly into something wondrous, delicate, artful … I wander through space, may integrity always find me and light my way.  And in the unknowingness I will seek and find love in all things.
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Tilopa 2.0

Me Too and the Fragility it Brings

Lately during Springtime where I live and also far off across the world as Autumn spreads a veil of leaves across the land; the hint of summer here, away over yonder across the not-flat-earth, the gentle sting of the cold is cutting in, women are stepping up to the mark, in unity, some broken, angry, fragile, ever so heroically and with trepidation to claim back what was lost and to tell the world what just isn’t okay.
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At first some people were wondering what #MeToo meant; someone assumed when I wrote ‘me too’ whether I was coming out as a rainbow person, I nipped that one ‘in the bud’ and declared my blokey-ness’ pretty fast and yes like millions of other heterosexual males I do honour peoples choices and rights in love.  We’ve seen the breast and prostrate cancer icon posts on Social Media, at first were mysterious and confusing.  And as a parent who had my oldest wondrous son suicide, I often go into mild panic mode and lock myself in my house for half as day when I see the posts about suicide and am confronted by the ‘if you really cared you would post this to your Fakelife Page’, all well intentioned but it only reminds me that people DON’T understand trauma and they do not realise doing good their way is perceived as bulldozing the garden of others like myself who are fragile beings. And it’s not that we want to feel that way, ‘it just happens’
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Us as Well 
In Australia we have had an ongoing Royal Commission Into the Institutional Response to Child Abuse, that title clearly defines what it is, it has outed so many molesters.  Like many others who experienced the crimes of the Catholic Clergy as a ten year old I was violated by a GROUP of supposedly adult Godly men, I stepped up, not because I wanted to but I knew that those of us who do have basic intelligence, can articulate, have sound memories and that little bit of Frodo courage, we could inspire others to hopefully heal, to claim back and maybe even have a victory over the crimes against humanity.  I do know of other men and women who testified from their jail cells, some on their death beds, some limped in pretty messed up, however there are those who are forgotten in psychiatric wards or in many cases are those homeless people we walk past every day in the cities, their stories will go down with them in their graves.
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Being Gentle
So leaving the ‘hero to oneself’ moments aside and stepping back into the field of life, here’s what I think people need to consider, we are in a very delicate stage of human evolution, we are moving away as a species from living like ‘knuckle draggers’ (thanks James Gililland) to become beings who are more sublime, empathetic, compassionate, with passing phases of being emotionally intelligent. When the Australian Royal Commission was announced, when I looked around I noticed a lot of people were coming apart; on the news there was an endless stream of information about the forthcoming Inquiry and unbeknown to many the vulnerable were being stirred up because it was in their face everyday.  During that time the Lifeline (suicide help) phone in lines were being swamped with calls, in one week it increased by 25% and we do know a number of people left us as they did not cope. Back in the supposedly real world out on the streets because I was a little outspoken, I had quite a number of women approach me to discuss their issues relating to their abuse when they were children.  I seemed to be reasonable human to approach as they found it unusual for a man to speak up about abuse.  The issue we were faced with as a community was the crimes committed on those tender women were outside the scope of the Royal Commission, they were fragile and due to the increased coverage they couldn’t run and had to in some way process what was coming up relating to their deep dark past. This is not easy, I know this journey well.
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This Me
So I write now to make a plea to the community to be gentle with each other because men like myself do feel vulnerable, we are triggered by what has emerged in MeToo in the same way that others felt fragile when the Royal Commission emerged. We are also the MeToos, there are literally millions and millions of men like myself who were abused by men when we were children and we are also fragile around other men but we are not part of the violations, I am clear that NOBODY has said we are.  There are wondrous men in the community who do attempt to be noble, respectful and wish to see women claim back their power and want to see the GODDESSES that women are emerge and wish to see boundaries that are put in place respected.
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I know from the experience of years of slowly unpacking the violations on my being by miscreants, at this moment it is a time when the community needs to hold each other, to be there united in healing, to be gentle when it’s easier to be bold and angry.  To make people accountable for crimes is more than acceptable but great caution is required to not break everything else in the process.  I wish everyone healing, transformation and hopefully this coming forward by the millions of Metoo’s can make the world a better, safer place where peoples sovereignty is respected.
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May all Beings Be Happy
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Tilopa 2.0

 

Embracing the Phantoms of Eternity

We walk such a fine line in life, between the polarities of joy and suffering, success and failure, we stand on the edge of forever looking out to where we may one day be and at the same time we sometimes bow our heads and look down, as if into an abyss of darkness forgetting the rising sun, the stars, the new blooms, the spring, unborn love and the sweetness reflected in the bees.
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The Cosmic Gatekeeper
The shadow of death passes over every house, only the free men are in some way detached from it.  Not that they don’t feel, they do, they rain tears down their cheeks like all others, it’s just that they see the chapters in the book of life as part of the totality that changes shape and allow the phantoms to pass.  Wisdom is the fruit of experience, we are feeling beings firstly, and as my dearest wise friend once said to me. ‘the Sage will never tell you the price he paid for liberation,’ those words have allowed me to embrace change when my heart has been taken to the limits of despair, it has been a light to guide me beyond my known limitations.
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Knock Knock
The knock on the door that everyone lives in fear of comes once for each one of our beloveds.  Knowing this allows us to live every other day rejoicing their existence, to look for ways to to resolve our petty differences, to hold them more often, to look into their eyes and see the wonder of their being, to rejoice in the miracle of their existence and when they dissolve through the veil of infinity we honor them by living a glorious life, to make sure our days are not wasted in trivia, petty things.
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Foreverness
As each person leaves the stage of the world, may we bow in reverence.  They have left a piece of themselves in us that lives on and becomes a part of us, a mannerism, a snippet of wisdom, a gesture that defined them, they walk with us over the horizon into eternity.
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May we always find love and in a state of forgetfulness bypass the misgivings, see the splendor in the meetings of the spirits that we are, and be gentle with each other.
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May empathy, compassion and kindness always be restored and rise again quickly even when we lose our way.

When Our Hearts Cracks Open

We’ve all been there, the dream dissolves.  Suddenly there’s a doorway in life, it appears from nowhere and we unwillingly step through it and are left feeling bewildered and question whether the period of our life we were in was a fantasy.  The familiar things around us, the places, the impressions in our thoughts that in a flash take us into a moment we treasured. The transience of life is something that won’t go away, it’s seems like when we are born we have a sticker slapped on our bum that says “change is the only constant embrace it or suffer.”
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All pain comes from attachment so say He the Great Buddha, his words were probs a little different but the essence the same.  My dearest friend and teacher once told me, “wherever there is pain there is clinging.”  At times it seems that wise words when we are in the state of suffering are almost offensive, insensitive, inhumane and lack in empathy.  But I know from experience the Sages who are our dearest of kin have placed them there within the scope of our consciousness so we can reach up to them when we are ready.
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The Seasons
The loss of a loved one, whether it be through death, or the changing fortunes on the screenplay of life are always challenging but are critical and are a natural process.   I do know well that transformation or what I would call the alchemy of going from raw material to gold is a usual process and also when I look at nature that we are part of, without the changing seasons there is no growth, no flowering of the tree of life; there can be no symphony without each musician playing his or her part perfectly in time with the composer’s intention, if we decide to go off in another direction and attempt to play something of our own, there will be chaos.  And I am not saying we are puppets in the hands of the Divine, it’s more like we need to fine tune our instrument, listen carefully and be in harmony with ourselves and this harmony joins the Totality.
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Being Vulnerable
Contrary to normal opinion, When the Heart Breaks Open it is safe, yes feelings arise that we may not like, there is an uncomfortable-ness about it. Being uncomfortable is not our favourite place as humans, we are standing on new ground or more precisely falling through an unknown area of space. The feeling of insecurity is usually perceived by people as an enemy.  If we have the ability to sit with it, to hold until the wayward thoughts and emotions subside we will see and experience something extraordinary.  If we become a slave to our thoughts and stay ‘in them’, suffering is a long experience, some people never recover.  If we are very gentle on ourselves, inquisitive and LOOK at the rise and fall of the sensations rolling towards us, we may notice that the perceived bee sting is not really there, it is the fear of the sting that we had, there will be sweet honey when its time.
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Embracing Eternity
I am grateful for life, for love, for the experiences that have and will shape me. In my life which has had its more than normal quota of trauma and loss, there are days when I have begged for it to all go away, to just rest in the Eternal Silence that underlies all things.  But then I remind myself that the Eternal Silence is ever present, it’s closer than a breath away, I can go there at any moment, it encases all the Universes.  The mystery of life is too precious to run from and based on what I am seeing now my intuition tells me where I am headed is beyond my wildest dreams.
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With a sense of curiosity I will say yes and give thanks to all that has been, is and what is to come.

Tilopa 2.0

From Suffering to Freedom

The path of self transformation is a bumpy one.  Each person has a history, some traumatic.  When we look at the lives of others we can become inspired by their ability to rise above tragedies,  admire their courage and at times share their tears.  Many great men and women have inspired me to never give up, to keep plunging deeper into the mysteries of life.
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Like others I too have a story, one that will never ever be told completely and will be lost forever in time and that is for the better. But from the experiences that I needed to rise above, I found a way to bring about some type of healing, a way of addressing the thoughts that troubled me and ran in the background of my life since a child.
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I have created a book to help others come to some type of peace, to slay the dragons of troublesome thoughts, to claim back and enhance the quality of life. This book although small was seven years in the making and it is tender.  It is not about survival and the crimes committed, it has a sweetness, a vulnerability about it.  Being able to show our vulnerability is okay, as men it can be difficult but if we are smart or wise enough to embrace those moments and use them as food to empower our being, we will grow and eventually only casually look back.
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This book is my offering to help heal those who have suffered.

All my love Tilopa 2.0